Kyle

So my cousin tells me it’s time for a new blog…so here goes.

Left Out. An oddity, of sorts, that I have. I have a real difficult time with feeling as if someone has been “left out”. When I was younger and would leave notes for my parents, I would first write “Dad and Mom” and then underneath I would write “Mom and Dad”. See, I didn’t want them to think I liked one more than the other, even more so, I didn’t want one of them to feel left out. Actually, Annie K, I distinctly recall having quite a complex with my 8th grade letter to my parents as I had to address one of them first. I am fairly sure I settled on putting it one way on the envelope and another way on the actual letter (perhaps we should verify that, Mom and Dad, do you still have the letter?).

With that said, you may have noticed my last blog focused primarily on Jack and all the while I wrote I had a whole gambit of issues going on in my head as Kyle was not included in the writing. I concluded that my next blog would be focused on Kyle. Now I must say that this introduction is the fine print as the real blog is to be focused on Kyle (and I could go on, but this may be considered a bit obsessive).

Kyle is 11 years old and heading into 5th grade next year. FIFTH GRADE! He’s not a little boy any more, definitely not the 7 year old who visited us for two weeks one hot summer and even still not the 8 year old boy we welcomed home to live with us a year later. His smile is the same, his desire for hugs are the same, his love for the dogs, the outdoors and x-box are the same, but he’s growing, he’s growing into our son. Not the cute son you get at two, four and six, but the in between son. The son one can almost call a fine young man, yet one wouldn't want to give him the freedom that seemingly comes with such a title.

He stays up a little later at night, he comprehends more jokes, he has more freedom, he has more responsibilities, he’s growing, learning and molding. One can see where we missed out on his early years. Spend enough time with him and one may see how his early years shaped his personality, shaped his actions and reactions. He’s a sweet kid, who likes to be right. (Quite possibly, one might not see a difference based on that!) Such a complex situation in such a simple family. Therefore we attempt to make it simple. We tell him the way it should be, we model and we praise him for the spectacular things he does the amazing feats he has accomplished and we encourage him all along the way.

A typical summer day might include waking up at 9:30 to Jack and Gregg playing downstairs. Kyle will fix himself breakfast, usually cereal, yogurt and a banana (depends on what Mom has stocked I suppose). Afterwards between play and cleaning up after breakfast he'll get ready for the day. The rest of the day includes playing outdoors (soccer, walking, biking, Jack, dogs), finishing chores before Mom gets home (4:30), playing with Jack, a little time on x-box, reading, drawing, and lunch somewhere in between. Kyles chores might include sweeping (gotta love the swiffer), feeding the dogs, setting the table, dusting, taking recyclables out, cleaning out his bathroom sink and emptying the garbage out of the bathrooms...and new this summer, mowing his soccer field.

Kyle has summer plans. He already had a whole week with Grandma Stelzer at the house. That week he worked particularly hard as Mom had a list for Grandma, but he had PLENTY of fun in between! He spent a weekend with his cousins and family at Grandma and Grandpa Supirans which ended in a soccer game with two of his cousins against Mom and two of his aunts. Though it took a lot to get Mom to play, it appears it was a highlight of his weekend. Kyle will go to church camp this summer too. He went last year and I distinctly recall him saying "I could stay here forever". I pray that this camp is a real boost to his spiritual life. Kyle will also join the WHOLE Stelzer family in South Carolina this year for a week long vacation in July. He'll have an entire week to get to know some of his extended family, of whom we sometimes only see for a day or two here and there. He'll also, I'm sure, get to hear of many memories as us siblings talk about summer vacations in SC as kids.

I asked Kyle this summer if he missed Russia, his friends, caregivers, mom and grandmother. He told me mainly his friends. He wondered how they were. I think Kyle has always been a follower, and even though he makes friends easy, it seems to me that none of them are nearly as close to him as his friends were in Russia. It takes time, and he is social and he is funny and sweet, so I'm not at all concerned, but I look forward to the day when he seems to have some best buddies that he truly enjoys the company of. In the meantime, we'll enjoy each other as a family, monitor a few websites for glimpses of old friends and work on his ongoing friendships at school and church.